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British Bukakke
2007-04-26 - 4:42 p.m.


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british bukakke I watched a homemade British bukakke video last night.

Not really sure why, I really can't stand bukakke.

Bukakke, for the uninitiated, is basically 1-2 women sitting, standing around, whatever, and basically being masturbated upon by around 30 guys. �Its really disgusting.

(and kind of gay, really. �Sure, there are two willing women in the room, blowing guys, jerking them off two at a time or whatever, but...lets be honest: �if you are one of those guys, you have maybe...five minutes of "face time" �with the bukakke girls. �The rest of your time you're sitting in a room masturbating with 28 other men.)

But it was British bukakke. �Which means everyone was extremely polite in the process. �And that was utterly fascinating. �Everybody was polite and snarky. �Very 'please and thank you', but, of course, underlying their statements was steep sarcasm. �And the accents made the girls seem so refined, aside from the fact that they were basically being used�as cum-dumpsters.

"Whoops! �We have a bit of a light issue over there!" the director would politely chirp.

"Oh, sorry!" A guy would say with his dick in his hand, masturbating furiously while stepping out of the light of the blonde British cumdumpster.

And they'd sit there and talk about the guys jerking off. �Really werid.

"Oh, he's really giving it his all, isn't he?" �the director would quip.

And the girls would giggle, going back to licking his balsac, while all around there were guys just beating off like there's no tomorrow.

But...it was all polite. �And proper, if such a word could ever apply to such a scurrilious situation.

I can't imagine being in a bukakke film. �As a guy, I would feel ashamed and humiliated. �

I could imagine being in a blow-job film, though. �

(Of course, I'd have to find a girl willing to blow me, first. �And then Audrey would have to be allright with that girl blowing me.)

The other thing I drew from the British bukakke video was a real affirmation of my size. �Holy shit there are some small British subjects out there. �

So small it would make one think the guys would NOT want any sort of permanent exposed record of their...shortcoming. �(pun intended)

Having said that, everyone was incredibly polite and British about it, saying nothing.

But COME ON! �If all you're a guy and all you're using to masturbate is your index finger and thumb...you might want to reconsider your future in porn.

--------------------------

Also...seriously...hygeine issue?

Audrey and I watched a porn, or part of a porn not too long ago. �Italian. �A guy was with two women. �He had them on their hands and knees, stacked up on top of each other. �It was an anal sex scene. �He would fuck one in the ass for awhile, then switch asses, and do the same thing over again. �

He had a dick like a�soup can. �A large soup can.�

Audrey saw the scene and hissed at me, "That's not sanitary!"

Yeah, I'm sure that's the first thing on everybody's mind.

I hear from Savage Love that porn stars typically flush their backsides out with repeated enemas until it runs clear. � I related that to Audrey.

"Still...that's not sanitary." she replied.

I pondered it for a moment.

"And she's not even enjoying that." �she stated firmly.

Hmmm...it was a pretty big smile I saw on her face. �I'm no expert on anal-sex, though. �I would have to imagine taking a large campbell soup can (family size) in the ass wouldn't be all that pleasant. �

Then again, if you're getting railed everyday by normal sized guys, maybe its something you want after awhile. �I've heard girls discuss wanting to feel that 'filled up' feeling. �(before sex with me...not after...*ahem*)

(ok, its two inches, but its two inches of pure FURY)

They didn't say anything about 'torn asshole' though. �So, I don't know. �All I can say is: �I hope she got a big�check, preferably a cashiers check, or bearer bonds.� Krugerands. � Anything that didn't rely upon a producer's credit.

But whatever.

The point I'm getting at is simply this: �in the days of AIDS and incurable gonorrhea, HPV and whatever else is out there roaming people's crotchetal regions, guzzling cum from thrity-odd guys, hell, even fifteen seems to be a real stupid thing to do.

She blew cum-bubbles.

Little cum-bubbles of death.


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