Argentum was sitting around with friends in college in a dorm room
suite. Friends may be too tight a term for those guys.
Sitting around together getting high, being entirely insecure
and
clinging to whatever is around for support as one develops an identity
may be a better way to identify what was going on with that group.
And that group's boss was Jim.
Jim was a sociopath. A muscle-bound, steriod abusing
sociopath.
One of the gang, Mike, a polack from Chicago, was an affable kid.
If Jim was the group's father, then, allegorically, Mike
would be
the group's mother. He actually cared.
He cared...in his own way.
The group was watching television, calming down after the last dorm
party. Booze, pot, nothing harder. Not this time,
anyway.
It was an intimate, almost family gathering, rather than an
electric party.
The term 'bitchslap' came up on the television.
"Bitchslap?" Argentum wondered out loud,"What the hell does
that mean?"
"Come on, you know what that means," Mike said reproachfully.
"Bitchslap?" Argentum said, "No I don't."
"Andy, bitchslap Argentum."
"What? Why?" Andy said.
"Just do it."
Andy looked at Argentum and qualied a bit.
"He's never done anything to me."
"Don't do it hard. Just do it." Mike said.
Long pause. Argenutm looked menacingly at Andy.
"No. He's grim-facing me."
"Grim face? What the fuck is a 'grim-face'?"
Argentum replied.
"That's what you were doing to Andy. Now just sit still while
he does it. Andy, do it." Mike responded.
Andy reached over at Argenum's head and received a solid punch in the
shoulder for his efforts.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Argenum blurted, "Don't reach
out at my head,
you fuckin' freak."
"He's just trying to help you understand." Mike said simply.
"I can't do it. He won't let me." Andy said to Mike.
"Argentum," Mike sighed, "Sit still."
Mike got up and walked over Argentum. Argentum reflexively
moved back away in his seat so he couldnt be reached.
"Do you wanna' know what 'bitchslap' means or not?" Mike said
threateningly.
Pause.
"Yes." Argentum replied.
"Then sit still."
Whereupon Mike swatted Argentum firmly on the head. Argentum
reflexively punched Mike in the ribs, moving him about a half-foot away
from him.
"There, now you know what 'bitchslap' means" Mike said,
wheezing and gasping for breath.
And then Argentum knew what it meant to be bitchslapped.
