Still More Advice
2006-07-26 - 18:09
before/after
strangely
non-functional guestbook
[ed. note: Despite begging and pleading from the editorial desk,
Argentum seeks to persevere as an advice columnist.]
DEAR MARGO: I've dated my fiance for the last
year and a half. She is 27, and I am 35. When I
asked her to marry me, we were in her favorite
restaurant. She didn't say yes right away
because she said there was a secret she had to
tell me to make sure that I still wanted to
marry her.
The secret was
that she'd been
in the adult
entertainment
business. I
figured maybe
she stripped
while in
college. She
told me that was
not it. We went
back to her
place, and she
explained that
she'd made some
movies. She
pulled out a
tape and played
it for me. I was
totally shocked;
my beautiful
girlfriend was
not what she
appeared to be.
We've made
love many times
and I could not
believe what I
was seeing. She
was a
transsexual. I
got up and
turned it off so
hard I almost
knocked the TV
over. My
girlfriend was
crying, and
through her
tears tried to
explain that she
loved me and
only did it for
the money to pay
for the
reassignment
surgery. I could
not believe what
I was hearing.
I screamed at
her and called
her all kinds of
names, which was
totally out of
character for
me. I left and
have not talked
to her for the
last two weeks.
She's called
several times
and left e-mail
messages to get
together and
talk. I am still
in love with
her. I miss her.
But I feel that
I have been lied
to and deceived.
Can we have a
future together?
-- SURPRISED AND
DECEIVED
SURPRISED--Um...dump this fucked up bitch. What are you, stupid?
Ok, nothing against the transgendered. (And nothing against pornstars,
either, for that matter.) I mean, of course she's going to lie to you
about the transgenderment, because she's going to be afraid that you would
respond unkindly. Same with the porn career.
But, really, this conversation needed to take place awhile ago. And to
have her tie up her porn career with the transgenderment seems a little too
tidy. Who knows what else is going on here.
The transgender issue is one thing, with its own set of issues, that, maybe,
if she had discussed this with you earlier, you might have had a handle on
things by now. But that AND a porn career adds up to more
baggage than you
want to deal with, and frankly I doubt your ability to handle it. Can you
handle with marrying a transgendered person and all that entails? Can you
marry a pornstar and deal with all the baggage that entails?
If so, then have a ball.
Something tells me a dipshit like you can't handle all of that. Not
that you're a bad guy, but who the fuck needs advice on something like
this?
Get your head out of your ass and smell the fresh air, you clingy
asshole.
And you are clingy, and have some personal issues of your own to look into if
you couldn't spot hers by now, plus are unwilling to let go after being rudely,
rudely RUDELY deceived. This isn't a challenge to you and your ability to
cope with her shit. Its just straight up common sense, dickface.
There are more fish in sea. Let this freaky cod go.
Dumbass. (Guys?! Guys!? I just found out my girlfriend
is a transgendered ex-pornstar! Whatever shall I do? ... WTF is
WRONG with
you?
DEAR ABBY: Until recently, I lived happily in my apartment complex. All that
changed when some neighbors moved in. "Greg" and his
girlfriend, "Suzy," smoke
what I believe is marijuana. I let the landlord know, and she had a talk with
them. Of course they denied everything and swore that they do not
smoke anything
in their room. The landlord then spoke to me and said there is not much he can
do about the problem.
Abby, the smell is terrible. My closet abuts the area in which they smoke, and
my clothing is permeated. People have asked me if I smoke dope. I tell them I
don't, and leave it at that.
My concern is that I will be working for a school district soon and I'm afraid
my colleagues may think the same thing, and it will put me in a bad light with
the school administration. My neighbors smoke 24/7, and I don't know what other
options I have. My landlord says they have to be caught in the act.
Have you any
advice? Please keep this strictly anonymous because I'm afraid of retribution.
-- SMOKED OUT IN TEXAS
Its uptight assholes like you, SMOKED, that make the world a stressful place
to live.
Yeah, you got stoners next door. I really doubt people are asking you if you
smoke dope. I also really doubt that your clothes are permeated
with it.
I think you're just a busy-body that likes to get into other people's shit,
rather than leave them alone.
Get a better job, move. Learn to leave other people the fuck
alone, you
republican voting soccer-mom wanna-be. Nice, another pror-suburbanite
breeder trying to tell the rest of the population how to live.
Seriously, I doubt there are air vents in your fucking closet. That
makes no sense. Smoke doesn't magically travel through walls,
either.
You're making shit up, imagining things to justify your outrage, so you can
rationalize attempting to control other's behavior to shore up your sagging
sense of self-worth. Spend more time on yourself, you shallow fuck, and
less on the people around you.
You can't avoid your issues forever.
|