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Yet More Advice before/after
[Ed. Note: Argentum insists he was born to be an advice columnist.]
DEAR MARGO: I need some insight. I have no desire to superimpose my personal decisions on anyone's childbearing choices, but this situation is making me crazy.
None of these people are my relatives, thank
heavens, but they are in the community I live
in. A 13-year-old girl and her boyfriend (also
13) fooled around, and she got pregnant. The
parents of the girl decided she would have the
baby and they would raise the child as their
own. Mom becomes the big sister!
Ours is a small town. Everyone and their dog has knowledge of the actual situation, so who do they think they're kidding? I have visions of some playground twit throwing the truth in this child's face, and all of the kid's understanding of love and trust being destroyed. This seems to me to be really wrong, and allowing the child to be adopted by someone just seems to make so much more sense. Or am I just overreacting to something that is really OK? -- CONFUSED Its nice that you care about this deeply white trash family, CONFUSED. But its none of your fucking business. --Argentum
DEAR MARGO: A
few weeks ago, I
was in a major
car accident
where I could
have been
seriously
injured or
worse.
Fortunately, I
walked away
bruised and
scratched.
The following night, my boyfriend came over to spend time with me. Of course, he stayed over until the next day. Before he left, he told me I was talking in my sleep and that I asked him to marry me. I am not sure if I did this or not, but I do have a history of talking in my sleep. It is a possibility that I asked him this question, but I brushed it off by saying that I didn't remember and that marriage was the farthest thing from my mind -- that what the accident did do was make me realize I had to get my life together in other areas, such as education and finances. I think my remark may have hurt his feelings, because he hasn't been acting the same toward me. I asked if we could get together some days ago, and he said he didn't feel like it. He just seems like he's not into me anymore. We've been together for two and a half years. I don't know how to approach the situation. Is this the end, or do I just give him space? -- CONFUSED IN IDAHO Dear Confused, That guy is a total bitch. Dump his uptight ass. Your friend, --Argentum DEAR MARGO: I am a happily married woman with a weird problem: For the first time in the 11 years that I've been with my husband, I find myself attracted to another man. Not just in a physical sense, but in all the ways you find someone attractive.
This man feels the same way, and we have both
chosen to back away from our friendship in order to stay true to our
respective spouses. I have no wish to be unfaithful, so I need some
advice on how to "get over" this guy. We stopped
talking/corresponding months ago, but I still have these feelings.
There probably isn't a quick fix, but since I married the first and only man I ever fell in love with, I don't have any experience with this subject. -- R.C. Dear R.C. You are in need of a seriously deep dicking. That will help you forget all about this guy. Also, your relationship needs some honest communication. Your Friend, --Argentum p.s. If you're hungry for some strange cock, have you ever considered a threesome? Think about it. DEAR MARGO: My wife and I were married last
June. We have yet to consummate the marriage. She is very reluctant to
have physical contact of any kind with me. This reluctance does not
extend to her three dogs, to whom she is very attentive. Have you thought about rape? Take it. Take the pussy. Bounce her off all four walls, and then see what happens. She'd probably love it. She sounds like the type. Or you could try just whipping it out and jerking it whenever you see her. Chase her around until you're able to drop a load in her presence, and then declare yourself the "winner". Stalk her and throw your jism on her when she least expects it. Continuously shriek "I can smell your cunt!", until she gets the point. Seriously, though, that's fucked up. Failure or unwillingness to consummate a marriage is grounds for an annulment. And you need to do it. This is a sham, and its cruel. And stop being such a bitch, CJB. Decorate your shit the way you want, and refuse to change it until she fucks you. --Argentum
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