God, who'd want to be...

God who'd want to be...

...such an asshole."

-Modest Mouse 'Charles Bukowski'

I moved out to the middle of the room with my guitar, playing hard with my eyes closed, hopping around, climbing on chairs, stepping from chair to chair, not missing a beat, doing whatever I could to generate some energy and interest.  Mick was in a foul mood, for a number of reasons.  I don't keep track too much anymore.  Its difficult, he's underdeveloped emotionally in a lot of ways, and tends to pout if I don't pay him what he feels is his due attention.  High maintenance motherfucker.

Regardless, they'd hired us to try to ensnare and keep the comedy club crowd from upstairs in the building, and that's what I set out to do.  I pranced about, people looked in from the doors and stood there.  Eventually a few tables formed together.  Overweight midwestern housewives.  Overindulged, but not so they'd realize it, well satisfied like a fat cat, housewives.  Their vacuum cleaner yawns bored me.  (Thank you, Uncle Buk, for that line)

We played an extra long set, then Jim came up to us, and prodded us to play some more.  He wanted us to jam with the headline comedian, who was some sort of extra-special harmonica player.

"What harmonicas do you have?"  I asked.

"Whatchu' mean, what type?"he replied.

"What keys?"

"All of them."

"Ok, then.  We'll start in E.  I'll keep it simple."  I stated with confidence.

He plugged in, and still had his microphone from his gig.  To listen to the tape later, he was turned waaaaay up into the mix.

And he proceeded to kick Mick's ass all over the sonic landscape.  Trills and putts, willowing siren calls, you name it, he did it.

Mick, like a true Irishman, kept at it, kept getting up off of the floor.  Kept getting his ass kicked.

But it took me awhile to realize it.  It was like a musical menage-a-trois, and the phrasing and accompanyment from both was so natural, I had no problem arranging and playing on the fly.  It was like being tied up and blindfolded by two girls, and having them suck your cock at the same time.  You're not really sure who's mouth is on your penis until you peek under the blindfold and are surprised.  Which is an experience I've enjoyed.

I would steal peeks from time to time to see who was playing, always surprised at what I saw.  In both instances.  It was electrifying.

And the crowd loved it.  More and more people came in.  A lot of the staff in the building.  I was unaware, standing in the middle of the room, eyes closed, playing playing playing.  Outside my eyelids and inside my ears, the two had a harmonica duel.  It was no contest.   A musical smackdown. Mick lost like a motherfucker.

As we finished, the room erupted in applause. 

Of course, I enjoyed the menage-a-trois more.  But that goes without saying.