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Four A.M. Blathering before/after {Ed. Note: In the interests of disclosure and full honesty, We here at Saintly Stories (tm*) now include this four a.m. diatribe about the existance of spirituality and possibilities of the mind. The author feels sheepish about its inclusion, considering the rambling nature of it all and the uninhibited unwinding that took place, but feels such disclosure is necessary in the interests of the standards set forth here at Saintly Stories. Enjoy.}
The pharmecutical industry isnt going out of business any time soon, and couple that with the drugs of illicit variety, its almost as if mankind is desperately trying to dull his senses, avoiding an awakening of the soul that could happen like a nova-starbust, freeing us all from the tyranny of the physical, allowing us to become all that we can imagine and perceive, all of us with god-like potential deep within us, frantically trying to cling to the impermenence of the material, denying the permanence of the mind. The chinese have a folk tale, by a sucker named 'Chang-Tzu' who spoke about dreaming. He dreamt he was a butterfly, and when he woke, he was not sure what he was. Was he chang-tzu, dreaming he was a butterfly, or was he a butterfly dreaming he was chang-tzu? 'If you take chang-tzu and the butterfly together, then there's a difference between them. But that difference is only due to their changing material forms.' Which is to say, or illustrate rather, the far eastern, Bhuddist mind-set that the mind (or soul, for western terms) doesnt change so much as the physical does, and the mind persists no matter what cases it, or even if there is a physical casing at all. Which is a hell of a long way to go to make a point. And the point is this: I dont know everything. Everything I learn teaches me how much more I have to learn, and the practical impossibility it seems to be to even attempt it, although attempt it I will, in an attempt to illuminate my existance and therefore understand it. However, regardless of what I do know, I have always had a sense of what I DONT know, and what I dont know, but suspect, is that there is a lot more out there than we glimpse at right now, and maybe we are walking blind in Plato's cave for a reason. There is a lot of something...else...that we are missing right now with our current understandings and perceptions. And Im reasonably comfortable in that assumption, in that statement. Doubt science will clear it up. Superstition has tried for a long time to account for it. And organized religion has picked up where that left off. I still manage a cloudy guess from time to time that the answer lies within, and has much to do with the mind, the soul...and the souls place in the greater scheme of things, in regards to...whatever is out there, be it what you believe, God, different perceptions of reality or whatever. And this is large enough to make people want to shut it out, as people are always afraid of change. Perhaps it makes them want to shut it out and narrowly define reality. Smoke a joint and watch bad cable television. God that sounds hippie-esque. Shoot me now. Still, if you can come up with a 100 percent credible reason as to why we dream, I will listen to you. 'Cause ain't NO ONE has got that nailed down, try as they might, with the voodoo bullshit they call science and medicine these days. What a crock of shit. Tell me why I dream, motherfucker, then get an attitude and call me simple. Or new-agey. Or hippie. And fuck I'm not about new-agey type stuff. However, its interesting to watch some of that thought cascade and tangle with far eastern philosophy. Probably rips Bhudda right off. Either way, the way we dope ourselves up is suspicious if you get past the simple positive reinforcement BF Skinner paradigm, acknowledge there is an inner dialogue, and start to wonder why exactly we get high in the first place. Sure, its fun. And certain drugs open you up. Psychadelics, for example. LSD, mushrooms, and Exctasy, plus a host of others. They can help you realign your perceptions on many levels. But the vast majority of drugs close you down. Then again, maybe this makes a mockery of much of my experience. Because the reality was that as much as I took certain drugs to open me up, and others to close me down, all the dissoloution did was free me up to perceive things in a different manner, especially the mind. (because, essentially, if you cant trust your senses, your input lies, then what have you left to define your world? Or yourself? You are no longer the organism sitting there, watching tv. Because maybe you dont hear it, or see it, or see something that is not there, or hear something that isnt said, in the purely physical sense, what does that leave you with? The essential self was the only answer that I could come up with. The YOU that is truly you. Also, which is contradictory to my point, sometimes I felt very open when taking things that would otherwise close me out to others, dulling me on one hand, and opening me up on the other) Many different and strange experiences, much of which I've never spoke of, because, really, I suppose I judge what I say in certain lights, and I know the practical reality of things...like if I babble at someone about certain shit, they may think I'm crazy. Then again, it may be them and an unwillingness to be open, or an unwillingness to reconsider their perception of reality. Still, that's hardly comforting when people start to jabber at you and behind your back about your state of mind. So some things, many things, are kept in the dark. And why not. I'm relatively sure everyone does it. AND ITS THAT STUPID SHIT OF WHICH I SPEAK UPON. Mostly. Then again, there is a lot of neurotic, no-one-cares bullshit we think everyday. But we file off curious thoughts and discount them if they dont fit with our perception of reality and life. This didnt happen, that couldnt possibly have happened, maybe some day science will explain it to me, for education has taught me that we were only peasants not too long ago, and maybe not much more now with very little destiny in mind. But suppose this is not true, and we all file shit like that away every day. Suppose science will never be able to explain so much to us, and always falls short...as it has inevitably seem to done. What does that say about reality. It means we are not getting the whole explanation of existance. And this is not to say we wont make fabulous breakthroughs, breathtaking in their scope, in terms of science and medicine. We will. But it is to say that it wont address all the facets of humanity. That there will always be that something else that has evaded any real or rational explanation, that sense that mankind has, that it is tied to something else larger than himself, or shades of existance that we can only glimpse at, and/or imagine from time to time, theologies and philosophys unraveled by the curiously intertwining and similar histories of various peoples of mankind, with the similar creation stories, the similar events and heros, paragons and persecutors in their mythologies. All these various explanations from all cultures that sound much the same when taken objectively for that sense that there is more to existance that we are unable to explain, that science classifies as bunk superstition because it explained certain tenents, aspects, legends and stories But some of the larger questions still remain unaddressed. Yes, we know that Apollo, for instance, does not drive a sun chariot throught the sky. But do we know where inspiration comes from? Sure, its not the Graces, or the Pliedes or what have you. But where does it come from? Science would say that it is only a matter of time before it explains that to you, but I disagree. At least for sake of this argument right now. Maybe inspiration comes from elsewhere to the mind in a function that science cant capture, explain or even really comprehend, because science is physical, and inspiration is not, and is in the realm of the mind, not the physical. Let me try it another way: how many ghost stories do you have to hear to think that there is something to that which we do not understand? EVERY culture has ghost stories, and hell, you probably have more than one friend who swears to have seen one. Yet the prevailing notion, say in the scientific community, the norm, is to decry such things as fake or anecdotal. I'm saying, if its not ghosts, then what is it? Because its definitely something. Otherwise we wouldn't have all these stories. Or rather...there is something to this...but what? And my feeling, my gut instinct, is that it all has something to do with the mind. And not necessarily in the classical freudian sense. And we just dont understand how right now. And science and dogma tend to lead us away from that, for the most part. Or, maybe make us take the long way to certain realizations. Which notion will probably seem neanderthal to passing generations. What we consider astounding today will be taken for granted tomorrow. What's really trippy and hippie to think, is to come to the realization that there is likely something a lot more to existance that we are denying, and that god-like potential rests within each one of us if it exists at all. Even in bubba in the trailerpark, drinking natty light, watching pro-wrestling, this incredible potential to turn imagination into reality in various ways we dont understand right now. He could actually be ruler of his own universe, and we all just intersect along with many multitudes of probablities on this one point, and only see time and space as punctual because of the physical. And bubba's universe runs his shit. Totally owns him and runs him, instead of the other way around. And one day, Bubba comes to the full realization of existance, his existance, and at least part of his place in it, and cleans house. I mean, literally cleans house. Because Bubba lives in a pig-sty. Haha. I re-read that. Wrap your mind around that one and win a prize. A big fat nothing. All your friends will be jealous. What, you dont have friends? Then shoot yourself, you sad motherfucker. No, really. Its okay to be a loner. Just stop blaming your parents.
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