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Surounded By Superheroes before/after At first, I thought my networking classes was chock full of geeks. But now, the more that I look at it, the more I realize that they are actually full of super heroes. You may doubt me at first. This is fine. It does not come often in this life, or any other, I'd wager, that one co-incidentally finds oneself in a veritable Hall of Justice with the Superfriends, but I'm telling you, it has happened to me. I look to my right and I see MulletBoy and his side kick, Fat Pony Tailed Man. Fat Pony Tailed man is actually a mullet, too. Hence the partnership. MulletBoy has the typical powers associated with this society of heroes, like social awkwardness. Today I saw him walk up to the only attractive woman in class, Hot Girl, and while she was watching her monitor, desperately trying to ignore him, he waved his hand back and forth in front of her face, inches away, as if she must be in some sort of voodoo death grip that causes one to stare off into space and ignore his masculine virility. In addition to this, his various powers include Keeping His Sunglasses On Top Of His Head All Night Long, rolling up the short sleeves on both his shirts to let his burgeoning pseudo biceps show, making stupid comments in class, and, of course, the awe inspiring powers intrinsic to the mullet. His sidekick knows hexidecimal...that's about it for Fat Pony Tailed Man. Then there's the Gut. The Gut stand taller than I, with sort of broad shoulders, a rather normal frame, and an enormous, bulbous, protruding gut. Pregnant women have nothing on The Gut. He walks with an earth shattering seriousness, and all lesser beings must step aside, as he moves through space scowling fiercely, letting all the world know: The Gut is no one to be toyed with. His super power appears to be his fantastic scowl and belching loudly. Certainly he has other gastric prowess that we are unaware of at this time, because, well, The Gut is a little bit of a loner, and he doesn't detail his capabilities to just anyone. Yes, the path the superhero walks is a lonely one. Then, the leader of this band, the prima donna, the optimus prime of the group is Irrelevant Man. The powers of Irrelevant Man are many and legion. A legend in his own mind, Irrelevant Man hails from parts unknown, and has the power of extrememly bad complexion. Irrelevant Man has been known to hold up class for interminable amounts of time, trying deseperately, neurotically to coax the spotlight towards him with a series of incredibly stupid and annoying comments and questions which have absolutely nothing to do with topic at hand. He can make time crawl with the simple opening of his lips and make otherwise ordinary students gasp in exhasperation. He can also brown nose to the point of annoying the piss out of the teacher. In addition to his time stoppage, bad complexion abilities, Irrelevant Man can exhude an aura of extreme annoyance, anywhere, anytime he so chooses. He knows he's the leader, and heavy is the head that wears the crown. Superheroes, all of them.
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