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Lay it Down OR Have a Menstruating Canine
2001-02-13 - 13:38:19


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Fuck.

I stopped at an automatic carwash on the way home. I hate automatic carwashes, but I come back all the time, like a junkie, or a girl who thinks her boyfriend, "Really means it this time."

The wash was fucked, but I already paid for it and its by far time to wash the car. The door on the wash didn't even go down.

There was a woman who entered with her plymouth horizon POS BOA, and got over the hump that triggers the wash.

It frightend her so much that she put on her seatbelt.

How can you live like that? Lay it the fuck down, sister, or be ready to get dirty. There's always shitstorm coming, and the check is already in the mail, hunker down, ride it out, or fucking die.


To make a long story short...Don is dogsitting for his boss, so I have a mutt in the house for two weeks.

I lost track of the dog last night, I called around for her, not a hint of the dog, and I thought roomie had taken her.

I was walking out to my car, when I see the dog. "Katie!" I exclaim. She runs up, wiggling like Michael J. Fox when he doesn't take his medicine. I take her in the house, figuring she needs some attention. She propmptly sits down, and starts licking her vagina like mad. I wait until she's finished, and call her somewhat tremulously,"Katie?"

She stands up, walks over, and dribbles menstrual blood on the floor.

So now I have a menstruating dog.

Appendum:

Later in the night, trying to explain the situation to Don, I almost made it through the conversation without laughing, up until I said, "Sorry we got your boss's dog knocked up, Don."


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