2016-01-30 - 10:37 p.m.

strangely non-functional guestbook


I'm struggling to type on ye olde iPad. This overly-aggressive auto correct can bite my ballsac.

It's like playing a new instrument, this straight iPad typing. and there I go, drifting off point.

Sometimes I withdraw when I should open up.

I could have used a friend today. I could have used a friend any day. Anybody else could usually say the same.

Just something about these past few days. Something vaguely awful. Changing and existential.

But, not at all, really. Just, like anything...cliche'.

And great. Like hearing a cheesy 80's tune on the radio. It's like the guilty pleasure everyone has.

Something has changed. Something isn't right, something is.

And really, I just want to let go.

I want to let go.

Float on the current. Let go of the negativity. Let go of the suffering and desire, and embrace happiness.

Some people cling to it like a drug. Sniffing it up their nose like a jolt of reality. But it's a deception the whole time.

Or their fear. Smearing it all over them like bear-fat, hoping that it will coat them with their glory, their fearsomeness expelled out or radiated forth like a beacon.

Never choosing to confront and embrace what lay beneath. Never letting it go.

And me? Somedays I'm afflicted with a horrible love for us all, God's children every last one.

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